Wow!

I totally forgot this thing existed! I'm going to make a TL;DR of my pregnancy and definitely write out my birth story at some point - the most important thing is, we have our baby here. Our James Eli; our reason for breathing.  He's perfect, and he's ours.

Week 6!

So, I am halfway through week 6 and I am so happy I've made it this far! I've been mildly terrified since I hear so many stories of loss, but my hormones are out of control so I'm assuming that everything is okay so far.

Last weekend we told both of my wife's brothers and their wives.  They were both very supportive and excited and asked what they could do.  Her older brother's wife wants to throw a gender reveal party! So that's exciting.  Her younger brother said he wants to buy us something expensive, so we asked if he would be willing to buy us the Ergo Baby carrier we want so badly.  I really want to encourage close contact for maximum bonding, and this is the one we like so far.  I also told my two closest aunts, who are both very supportive.  One aunt wants to buy us our travel system of the baby carrier, car adapter, and stroller! We're so lucky to have families who are so willing to help us.

I also told my mom this week.  When my sister got pregnant, my mom had a full mental breakdown in a restaurant.  I thought she would flip, but she was fine! I gave her a childhood book of mine that came with a song I used to sing, and a baby onesie.  She didn't get it at first, but when she caught on she freaked - in a good way. She's very excited. I'll be telling my dad tonight too.

The most important part of this week has been our first prenatal appointment.  We only met with a nurse, who gave me a TON of forms about how I should be eating, exercising, the baby's growth, etc.  We also found out that through our insurance, we can take birthing classes, infant CPR, and breastfeeding for no cost.  That's super reassuring and exciting!  My wife really wanted to see the baby this week, but the nurse said at 6 weeks it's still hard to see much.  We arranged our next appointment for next week, in which we get to see our little munchkin! They also took 11 vials of blood, which all came back normal - phew!

As far as symptoms go, I'm feeling up and down.  I'm constantly exhausted, so daily naps are a must.  I've been nauseated off and on, and have to eat something to make that feeling go away, which is stressing me out as far as weight gain. I also had my first morning sickness today! That was fun.  I only told my boss and one co-worker, so next week after our ultrasound I'm going to inform our higher-ups and form a plan for when I'm off of work.  It looks like I'll have nearly four weeks of paid leave before I have to go on disability, which is amazing! I'm excited about that.

Vacation, Easter, and miracles.

This is one of those blog posts that has a happy ending.

The wife and I had a trip booked to Seattle last weekend.  It's our favorite city; we've gone at least twice a year for the last 3 years and are hoping to one day make it our home.  It was great having a vacation planned; it took away the stress of the two week wait.  I wasn't nervous, I didn't symptom spot, and I was just able to plan for our trip. However, on 4 DPO, I got a super sharp pain in my lower left side. I was driving, and thought I was going to have to pull over - it hurt that much. That was my only symptom.

At 8DPO, we got to Seattle! The city was beautiful and cold and everything I wanted it to be.

I was actually a little nauseous when we landed, but I figured it was just a rocky plane ride. It could have been my first symptom!

At 10DPO, we decided to buy some tests, because why not? At least we would know whether or not to buy baby clothes. When we got to Wal-Mart, we found baby jerseys on clearance so we bought them anyway - maybe they would be useful in the future!

We got back to the hotel room - I had held my pee for the excruciating 3 hour ride from the Olympic Peninsula to Seattle, so peeing on the test was very welcome.  

Once I peed, I tested, and let it sit.  I figured it would be negative and we would be on our way. What we got was a very welcome surprise!

The faintest of faints. I called my wife into the bathroom and she started to scream "you're pregnant!" and I started to cry. This didn't feel real.  We had a scare last time, so I held it again for three hours and peed again:

There it was. Real. There. Two positive tests. We cried. We laughed. We hugged.  

I told my sister because she had told me first when she got pregnant, and I wanted to ensure it was positive. We also told my wife's parents because we currently live with them, and let them know we'd be moving soon and I wanted them to be aware of any symptoms I may have. They are ecstatic.  Her mother is a little apprehensive because she wanted her to be pregnant, but she has been SO supportive.

I had a doctor's appointment yesterday and got a referral to OB/GYN. I'm waiting for them to call me and schedule an appointment so we can see/hear our little sticky bean!

I am currently: 4 weeks, 3 days.

Baby is the size of: a poppy seed!

Mom feels: some nausea, extreme exhaustion, and painful boobs.

Trying again!

I tested in the afternoon and got a nearly positive OPK:



Donor was available, so we booked a hotel room a mile away from our drop off spot and made our way over! It's always kind of nice to escape reality for a few hours and make a baby in a new and unfamiliar area, right? So we did our thing, ate some Sonic (we don't have one nearby so I always indulge!), and hope we have a baby growing! I always inseminate the day after a positive OPK, so I wanted to try a little earlier.  Hopefully our swimmers are hanging out until I ovulate, probably tonight or tomorrow!

If it doesn't work this month, I'm going to start temping.  We want our little one so terribly. I'm just tired of feeling cheated.

1 DPO!

Oh my goodness, was this cycle a whirlwind.

I've been testing for ovulation using OPKs, and Wednesday's line was too faint.  So then Thursday afternoon, I got a very dark line that was not yet positive.  I figured it was going to be completely positive by Friday morning.

Boy, was I wrong.

Friday morning - the line was so faint I could hardly see it.  I was devastated.  Had I missed my surge? It certainly seemed that way. I called my donor clinic, who said it seemed that between 5PM on Thursday and 9AM on Friday, I had my LH surge.  I could still catch my ovulation though! However, they didn't have the specimens I needed except in their main office, 2 hours away without traffic.We decided to go for it - I had all the symptoms: a headache a day before (I always get them around the time I ovulate, weird), EWCM on Thursday, and on Friday before we tried my cervix was low, soft, and felt what I believe to be open. So fingers crossed!

It's baby week!

Cycle day 14 and it's OVULATION WEEK! Actually, I won't ovulate until Friday or Saturday, but I'm going to start testing tomorrow just to ensure that I won't ovulate early.  We are going to wait until the line is really dark this time, because I'm starting to fear that I inseminate early. I'm not going to stress this time. I'm going to remain confident that September is our month.  I think it would be so perfect; a June baby, and we could tell friends and family at Christmas. Please oh please, let it be this month!

I just want a baby :(

I'm not sure why I'm feeling so bummed out today - maybe it's the medications, or the heat here in Los Angeles, or...I don't know.  I just know I'm ready to be a mother.  I wish this process wasn't so complicated.