I am heartbroken. I really thought that a cycle of Clomid would help. After I saw that I had started yesterday, I came out in tears to tell my wife.  We held each other and cried for awhile, then relinquished that next month will come, and we will be able to try again.

It's hard. Conceiving is hard.  You hear about people being surprised when they were being careful.  We want one so bad. I know, it's only the second cycle, it happens eventually, it takes awhile.  But it doesn't make it any less painful.

I think the hardest part is that I doubt myself and my body when it doesn't work.  Maybe I did it when the OPKs were too light.  Maybe we missed the window.  Maybe I didn't defrost the sperm right.  Maybe they died too soon.  It's so tricky and disappointing and I feel like I'm too blame.

But I'm going to remain positive for the next cycle. I'm going to eat more healthy. I'm going to exercise more. I'm going to invest in some more vitamins other than just a prenatal.  We'll get the baby that we've been dreaming of.